The 5 Conflict Management Styles: A Complete Guide

Conflict management styles, defined by the Thomas‑Kilmann model, include competing, accommodating, avoiding, collaborating, and compromising. Each style balances assertiveness and cooperativeness in different ways.

Choosing the right style depends on the situation: competing suits high-stakes, quick decisions; accommodating and avoiding helps preserve harmony or reduce tension; compromising works for fast, fair resolutions; and collaborating is ideal for win–win, long-term solutions, though it can be time‑intensive.

With so many different personality types, backgrounds, and opinions in the workplace, it’s no surprise that sometimes lively — some may call them heated — discussions ensue. Workplace conflicts are an unavoidable reality in organizational settings, making effective conflict management skills essential for maintaining a productive environment. Different viewpoints bring different perspectives and can lead to productive discussions and creative solutions for important issues. However, when these dissimilar points of view result in conflict, the subsequent tension can lead to anxiety and discontent among employees and can even affect your clients or customers.The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

Understanding Conflict Management

Conflict management is the process of identifying, addressing, and resolving conflicts in a constructive and respectful manner. It involves understanding the underlying causes of the conflict, communicating effectively with all parties involved, and finding a resolution that satisfies everyone’s needs and interests. Effective conflict management is crucial in both personal and professional settings, as it helps to build trust, improve relationships, and increase productivity. By addressing conflicts head-on and working towards mutually beneficial solutions, individuals and teams can create a more harmonious and efficient work environment.

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

Managing conflict well keeps work environments safe and productive. Although not all experts agree on the best approach for conflict resolution, the signature method used most often by HR professionals and business managers is the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument.

The Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI), named after the authors Dr. Kenneth W. Thomas and Dr. Ralph H. Kilmann, examines a person’s assertiveness and cooperativeness in conflict situations, categorizing individuals into five different conflict styles. The pair identified five different styles of handling conflict: Avoiding, competing, compromising, accommodating, and collaborating.

Conflict Management Styles

No style is right or wrong, but knowing when and how to use the different styles is key to maintaining peace and harmony in the workplace. Understanding the five conflict management styles is crucial for effective leadership and conflict resolution.

1. The Competing Style (Forcing)

The Competing style is highly assertive and highly uncooperative. It’s an “I win, you lose” approach where an individual pursues their own concerns at the other person’s expense, using whatever power seems appropriate to win their position.

• Pros
  • Leads to quick, decisive action, which is vital in emergencies.
  • Demonstrates strength and conviction in your position.
  • Can be necessary when you need to protect your own interests or enforce unpopular rules.
• Cons
  • Can damage relationships and create resentment.
  • Stifles collaboration and feedback from others.
  • May lead to a hostile environment if overused.

• Best Used When…

  • In an emergency situation (e.g., a critical safety issue).
  • You know you are right and the issue is of vital importance.
  • You need to make an unpopular decision for the good of the group (e.g., budget cuts).

2. The Accommodating Style (Smoothing)

The Accommodating style is unassertive and highly cooperative—the opposite of Competing. It’s an “I lose, you win” approach where an individual neglects their own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person. There is an element of self-sacrifice in this mode.

• Pros
  • Maintains harmony and preserves relationships.
  • Can be a gesture of goodwill to build social credit.
  • Allows you to move on quickly when the issue is more important to the other person.
• Cons
  • Can lead to your own ideas and concerns being overlooked.
  • May result in feelings of resentment if your goodwill is taken advantage of.
  • Can diminish your influence and authority over time.
• Best Used When…
  • You realize you are wrong or that the other person’s position is better.
  • The issue is far more important to the other person than it is to you.
  • You want to build harmony and show that you are reasonable.

3. The Avoiding Style (Withdrawing)

The Avoiding style is both unassertive and uncooperative. It’s an “I lose, you lose” approach. The individual does not immediately pursue their own concerns or those of the other person. They do not address the conflict; they sidestep, postpone, or withdraw from it.

• Pros
  • Can be useful for trivial issues that would waste time and energy.
  • Helps you step back from a tense situation to cool down and regain perspective.
  • Allows you to gather more information before making a decision
• Cons
  • Decisions may be made by default, without your input.
  • The issue may fester and grow worse over time if left unaddressed.
  • Can signal to others that you are uninvested or apathetic.
• Best Used When…
  • The issue is trivial or of only passing importance.
  • You have no power to change the situation.
  • The potential damage of confronting the conflict outweighs the benefits of resolving it.

4. The Collaborating Style (Problem-Solving)

The Collaborating style is both highly assertive and highly cooperative—the opposite of Avoiding. It’s an “I win, you win” approach. Collaborating involves an attempt to work with others to find an integrative solution that fully satisfies everyone’s concerns. It requires digging into an issue to identify the underlying needs of all parties.

• Pros
  • Leads to the most innovative and durable solutions.
  • Builds mutual trust and strengthens relationships.
  • Fosters learning and a shared understanding of diverse perspectives.
• Cons
  • Is extremely time-consuming and requires a high degree of energy from all parties.
  • Requires a high level of trust and psychological safety to be effective.
  • Is not practical for all conflicts, especially trivial ones.
• Best Used When…
  • The concerns of all parties are too important to be compromised.
  • You want to merge insights from people with different perspectives to create a better solution.
  • You need to build long-term commitment by gaining consensus.

Related Articles

5. The Compromising Style (Sharing)

The Compromising style is moderate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. It’s a “you bend, I bend” approach. The objective is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties. It lies on the middle ground between Competing and Accommodating.

• Pros
  • Is faster and more practical than Collaborating.
  • Can provide a temporary or partial solution when a full win-win isn’t possible.
  • Feels fair to both parties, as everyone gives something up.
• Cons
  • Can lead to a solution that is sub-optimal for everyone.
  • May prevent the exploration needed to find a more creative, collaborative solution.
  • Can become a lazy default, avoiding the hard work of true problem-solving.
• Best Used When…
• • Goals are important but not worth the effort or potential disruption of more assertive modes.
  • Two opponents with equal power are strongly committed to mutually exclusive goals.
  • You need to achieve a temporary settlement on a complex issue.

At-a-Glance: The 5 Styles Compared

Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies

Effective conflict resolution strategies involve a combination of skills, including active listening, empathy, and problem-solving. Here are some effective conflict resolution strategies:

1. Stay calm and composed: Emotions can run high in conflicts, but it’s essential to remain calm and composed to think clearly and make rational decisions.
2. Listen actively: Listen carefully to all parties involved and try to understand their perspectives and concerns.
3. Focus on the issue, not the person: Avoid personal attacks and focus on the issue at hand.
4. Seek common ground: Look for areas of agreement and try to find a mutually beneficial solution.
5. Be flexible: Be willing to compromise and find a middle ground.
6. Use “I” statements: Instead of blaming others, use “I” statements to express your thoughts and feelings.
7. Seek outside help: If necessary, seek outside help from a mediator or counselor to resolve the conflict.

By employing these strategies, individuals can navigate conflicts more effectively, ensuring that all parties involved feel heard and respected.

Common Conflict Management Mistakes

Here are some common conflict management mistakes to avoid:

1. Avoiding the conflict: Avoiding the conflict can lead to resentment and make the situation worse.
2. Being too aggressive: Being too aggressive can escalate the conflict and damage relationships.
3. Not listening: Not listening to all parties involved can lead to misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts.
4. Focusing on winning: Focusing on winning can lead to a competitive and adversarial approach rather than a collaborative and mutually beneficial one.
5. Not seeking outside help: Not seeking outside help when needed can lead to unresolved conflicts and damaged relationships.

Avoiding these common mistakes can help individuals manage conflicts more effectively, fostering a more positive and collaborative environment.

Choosing the Right Conflict Style

Choosing the right conflict style depends on the situation and the parties involved. Here are some factors to consider:

1. The importance of the issue: A more assertive approach may be necessary if the issue is critical.
2. The relationship: A more collaborative approach may be necessary if the relationship is important.
3. The parties involved: A collaborative approach may be more effective if the parties involved are willing to work together.
4. The time constraints: If time is limited, a more expedient approach may be necessary.
5. The cultural context: Different cultures may have different conflict management styles, so it’s essential to consider the cultural context.

By understanding these factors and choosing the appropriate conflict management style, individuals can resolve conflicts constructively and respectfully, ensuring that the needs and interests of all parties involved are addressed.

Tips for Conflict Resolution While Managing a Project

Conflict is inevitable in project management, especially when diverse teams with varying priorities and perspectives work together. However, effectively addressing conflicts can enhance collaboration and project outcomes. Here are some tips for conflict resolution in a project management setting:

• Identify the root cause: Take the time to understand the underlying issues driving the conflict. This ensures the resolution addresses the core problem rather than just surface-level symptoms.
• Adapt your style: Use the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument to identify which conflict management style—avoiding, competing, accommodating, compromising, or collaborating—is most suitable for the situation.
• Foster open communication: Encourage team members to express their viewpoints in a safe, respectful environment. Clear communication often helps to de-escalate tension.
• Focus on the project goals: Remind all parties of the shared objectives, helping to redirect energy toward common priorities.
• Be fair and impartial: As a manager, approach conflicts without bias to build trust and ensure a balanced resolution.
• Document resolutions: For ongoing projects, keeping a record of agreed-upon resolutions can prevent misunderstandings later.

By handling conflicts proactively and professionally, project managers can maintain team harmony and keep projects on track.

Recommended Project Management Software:

• Clickup: Recommended for small businesses, Free Plan
• Smartsheet: 30-Day Free Tria, 30-Day Free Trial
• NetSuite: Fully-fledged project management tool, 14-Day Free Trial

Final Thoughts

Conflict is a natural part of any workplace, but how it’s managed can significantly impact team dynamics, productivity, and morale. By understanding the pros and cons of different conflict management styles — whether it’s competing, accommodating, avoiding, collaborating, or compromising —managers and employees alike can foster a healthier and more collaborative work environment. Managers who focus on developing their conflict management skills often have satisfied employees and high-functioning teams. 

While no single approach fits every situation, the key lies in adaptability. Leaders who master the art of conflict resolution are better equipped to turn disagreements into opportunities for growth, innovation, and strengthened relationships. This not only ensures smoother day-to-day operations but also builds a foundation for long-term organizational success.

For businesses looking to empower their teams, investing in training and tools to enhance conflict resolution skills is a strategic step forward. By transforming conflicts into constructive dialogue, companies can unlock the full potential of their teams and drive meaningful results.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is there one “best” conflict management style?

A: No. The most effective people are not those who use one style exclusively, but those who can adapt their style to the situation. While Collaboration is often seen as the ideal, it’s not always practical. The goal is to become proficient in all five styles.

Q: How can a team improve its conflict resolution skills?

A: A great first step is for each team member to understand their own dominant style. Teams can then have open discussions about how their different styles interact and agree on a process for handling disagreements constructively, often defaulting to collaboration for important issues.

Q: What is the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)?
A: The TKI is a tool that analyzes an individual’s conflict resolution style based on their assertiveness and cooperativeness, identifying five styles: avoiding, competing, compromising, accommodating, and collaborating.

Q: How can project managers resolve conflicts effectively?
A: Project managers can resolve conflicts by identifying the root cause, fostering open communication, aligning discussions with project goals, and using appropriate conflict management styles based on the situation.

Q: Which conflict management style is best for team collaboration?
A: The collaborating style is most effective for team collaboration, as it seeks to address the needs of all parties and encourages joint problem-solving for long-term solutions.

Q: What should be documented during conflict resolution?
A: Document resolutions, agreements, and action steps to ensure clarity, prevent misunderstandings, and maintain accountability throughout the project.